Q: I am seeing this one guy and I don’t think that I am
attracted to him. I have been really burned in a past relationship and I don’t
know if what I am feeling is the fact that I am “fearful” of being in a
relationship or is it that I really am not interested in him…Little things that
he does (though he thinks are cute) really annoy me, but they haven’t annoyed me
when other guys I dated did them…I don’t know if it is me or him…and if its him,
how do I get out of this? HELP!
Signed,
Patricia
A: Hi Patricia,
I think if you really like him you would know…In other words, you being burned
has NO affect on you EVER falling in love again…because no matter how many times
you have been burned; if you found that right person, even if you said the day
before you never will…believe me…YOU will know!
Trust your gut on this one. If you really liked him, the little “annoying”
things that he did would not be so “annoying” rather they would be cute, just
like he thinks so. You have to let him know, gently, because it sounds like he
is falling for you. Do it before it is too late. If you cant see yourself with
him in the long run, why waste your time…Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you
need to do what’s best for you!
Thanks and good luck,
LL&$,
~Kimlee
Q: My boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage recently. We are
concerned about how this will affect my credit. He has a bankruptcy on his
credit from a few years ago. His credit is not terrible, considering, but we
don't want the merge to hurt my excellent credit. Does anyone have the lowdown
on how it works?
Signed,
Anonymous
A: Hello and thank you for writing to me with this
sensitive topic. Just so you know, when you are married, you are responsible for
debts incurred by your partner throughout the course of your marriage NOT
before…
With that said, you should more than likely investigate the reason and/or cause
for this financial behavior in his past. As you want to make sure that he has
changed his “ways” and is on the right track financially for the both of your
future. Ask the right questions, like “What caused him to file for bankruptcy in
the first place? Irresponsibility? Or an unseen, unfortunate event that's out of
his hands?”
The answers to your investigation will ease your mind a bit when thinking about
your financial happiness with him in the future. If you find that he has been
irresponsible or reckless or worse yet, apathetic about finances your good
credit will be in BIG trouble if he hasn’t changed his ways. Hopefully your guy
has reformed because once you're official, his decisions will reflect on you.
If he has changed his ways, his prior existing credit score will NOT affect your
current credit score, however, it may affect you if you try to make a large
purchase “together” as apposed to on your own.
Thank you and good luck!
LL&$,
~Kimlee
Q: People at my work don't notice me how can I improve my level of social
acceptance? Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Signed,
Catherine
A: Hi Catherine,
First and foremost, you need to identify who you want
to be noticed by. It is important to have pleasant working relationships with
colleagues of all levels—this goes without saying—but you need to make sure why
you are feeling unnoticed. If you feel that you are not being noticed physically
and socially you may want to look at the way that you interact with others on
your job. Try to be as outgoing as possible, initiating greetings and/or
conversations when you feel it is appropriate and/or
when others seem open to you.
It is easy to go unnoticed when you are not open to
noticing others around you…Look at yourself first, and then see what you can do
to change how you interact and associate with your colleagues. You should try to
take initiative as much as possible by either helping others with their work or
making sure that you do not in ANY way have a “it’s not my job” attitude or
mentality.
Ultimately you should never become so preoccupied with
how others perceive you, however, when it is your career, you do want to make
sure that your hard work is noticed—by the right people that is!
LL&$,
~Kimlee
Q: I have decided to move my 401k investments to a money
market fund for a while to see where the market is headed. My financial advisor
suggested I move it to either a short-term Ford Motor Company 18-month bond with
a yield of 7%, or a 3.5% fixed rate annuity with a 36-month term. I could just
leave it where it is in a 1.5% money market fund that is totally liquid. I kind
of like it in the 1.5% money market fund because I am not tying up my money in
case the stock market rebounds. What do you think?
Signed,
Johnny
A: Hi Johnny,
First of all, I hope that it was NOT your financial
advisor who told you to “move” your 401k anywhere. Second of all, a 1.5% money
market is an atrocity! There are online liquid money markets like ING Direct and
Emigrant-Direct that offer over 3.5% up to 4%!!! So if you simply are “moving”
the money, (hopefully not getting charged early withdrawal fees and penalties—a
traditional IRA will, a ROTH won’t) it should go into a much, much higher yield
than 1.5%...wheew!
With that said, a 401k be it a traditional or ROTH
really is a long-term investment vehicle. A 401k is not a
“quick-flip-real-estate deal”, nor is it a gambling game. To be successful with
a 401k you must use a “dollar-cost-averaging approach”. In other words, it is
better to make smaller deposits on a monthly basis over time, than to make
larger deposits a few times a year.
You also need to question the information that you are
getting about “where the market is headed”. Only time will tell where the market
goes, and history shows that what goes up, comes down and vice versa. So if you
are in it for the long haul, which you should be, invest a % of your money in
your 401k with dollar-cost-averaging and to be on the safe side, invest another
% of your money into a high interest money market account.
Good Luck, and I hope this helps you out!
LL&$,
~Kimlee
